So here we were. Both of us just 17 years old and about to have a baby. I went ahead on my trip to London and Scotland. I had a really good time but missed Mike horribly and wondered constantly about what our lives were about to be like. No such thing as everyone having cell phones back then so we didn't get to talk to each other for 10 days. Long time when you have such a heavy burden to carry.
We were actually very lucky. We had families that were willing to help us. When I got home from my overseas trip, my daddy took me to look for a new, mobile home. He bought us a small, two bedroom starter home and also furnished it with furniture, appliances and other things we needed to get started. Mike's mother and grandmother gave us household items and Mike's father paid for half of the medical expenses throughout my pregnancy. Now remember, I had just graduated high school before getting pregnant. Mike, however, had been behind me so he quit high school and got a job. Yep, he stepped up to the plate to take care of his new family. I don't think at the time it was too big of a deal to him... he hated school and didn't do very well with his grades. Later on, he did regret not getting a high school diploma instead of a GED, but I was very proud of him either way.
On August 28, 1987, Mike and I, with our immediate families tagging along, went to the courthouse and we got hitched. Very awkward. Knowing we were pregnant and still "kids" and here we were standing in the same room with both sets of our parents and getting married. I'm a people person and not normally shy, but even I was a bit embarrassed by it all. I've never been one to want a wedding. I was never the little girl who always dreamed of a fairy tale wedding, so even just a simple ceremony in a courthouse was still too much for me! We went to Panama City Beach for our little weekend honeymoon. THAT felt even more strange than the "wedding". I was actually Mrs. Mike Holley..... at 17. Just a little over three months before that, we weren't even officially together. Wow, how things can change so fast!
We came back home to "play house" together. I was having a great pregnancy, well other than the fact that if I didn't eat every two hours I would get extremely nauseated and dizzy. That resulted in me gaining over 60 lbs. during my pregnancy, which you'll hear much more about later on. But I was very happy. I was so proud of Mike for getting a job and wanting to take care of his baby. So many teen pregnancies result in the guy leaving the girl all alone. I guess this really was true love. I guess maybe Mike was right. Even if I hadn't gotten pregnant, maybe we still would've ended up together.
At 6 a.m. on March 18, 1988, contractions started. Our baby was about to arrive. I was scared to death. Mike was too I'm guessing because he was driving about 80 miles per hour to get me to the hospital. My mom rode with us and she kept laughing at him and telling him to slow down, that labor with a first baby would take quite a while and perhaps it would be better if he didn't get us killed on the way. Well, mom was only partially right. My first baby only took six hours to arrive. At 12 noon, Kasey Nicole Holley was born. An 8 lb. 6 oz. beautiful baby girl with a head full of dark hair. I don't remember Mike being in the actual delivery room, but I do remember that when the doctor held her up in the air to show her to me, still wet and yucky, the very first thought that entered my mind was, "that is NOT my baby". HA! Since she was still not cleaned up and had all that wet dark hair, I thought she looked like she totally didn't belong to me! Silly pain meds. The nurses in the hospital just loved all that hair and put a little pink bow in it, Pebbles Flinstone style, on top of her head. It was official. We were mommy & daddy.
We were excited to take her home. Of course, we had lots of visitors in the beginning. Life was good. I stayed home with Kasey while Mike worked. He eventually quit his first job and began working with my daddy and grandaddy on the family farm. I LOVED IT! Yes, it was often times much longer hours but I loved that farm with all my heart and to have Mike be a part of it meant the world to me. Later in life, he looked back and realized how much it meant to him too. We were all getting along pretty well, adjusting to married life and a new baby. Kasey was a fun baby so overall we were happy. But again, time changes things. It was about to get a little bumpy. Click, click, click, click up that roller coaster hill...... about to barrel down the other side.
Life Lesson: Teen pregnancy is NOT a fairy tale. Most guys leave. Most girls don't have supportive parents. Most couples, if they're lucky enough to stay together, DON'T have their "start up" life handed to them. Yes, we were extremely lucky to not only be together, but to have all of those things given to us. BUT, that was the illusion. Real life, as teens with a baby, got hard.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
The Baby
I knew. I knew that very night that I had gotten pregnant. And to be completely honest, I didn't care. (ah, the crazy way a teen mind thinks) I wanted Mike, so I wanted his baby. I was so sure I was pregnant that on the very day that I was supposed to start my cycle, I went over to Wanda's house and told her we needed to get a pregnancy test. Her mother, being prepared for such an occasion, just happened to already have them in the house! I did the test and it confirmed what I already knew. I was pregnant. WE were pregnant. At 17.
A whirlwind of emotions flood over me. Excitement. Fear. Love. Worry. Apprehension. What would Mike think or say? What would our parents think or do? Pregnant?! Yes, pregnant. Just to be 100% certain, I had an older friend take me to a local teen pregnancy center. Confirmed again. Pregnant. Next step.... Mike. He had a baseball game that day so I asked to see him after the game to talk. He knew. On our drive to his house I simply said, "I'm pregnant." "Wow, we (bleeped) up," he said, holding my hand. I had already had at least a little time for it to sink in but seeing his reaction brought those initial emotions back up. At least he was staying calm about it. "I knew when you said you wanted to talk that you were probably pregnant," he said. We arrived at his house and his next move sort of surprised me. I thought this would be a good time for us to spend a little while together and talk things through. Instead, he wanted to be alone. I was crushed. Again? Love is such a roller coaster ride. But I left as he wished. He told his friends and his parents and the next day he came to see me.
Mike talked about getting married whenever I returned from my London trip. Yes, I was still going. I thought it would give my parents time to let the news sink in. I was in a one-track state of mind though. I didn't care what anyone thought. I was having Mike's baby and I couldn't be happier. No matter what else happened, we would be together. Some of you are probably wondering- did I get pregnant on purpose? ABSOLUTELY NOT! As much as I loved Mike, I really was excited to be going off to college. And yes, he did ask THE question, "is it mine"? Yep, that hurt. Why would he ask that? Yes, we had been broken up for months, but didn't he realize how much I loved him by how hard I had chased him?
Looking back now, I do wonder what would have happened if I hadn't chased him. If I had not shown up at that party that night. Would we have ever gotten back together? He says yes. I sort of doubt it. I tend to think that if I had went away to college that he would have just moved on. BUT, true love does find a way, doesn't it? So maybe he's right. Maybe we would have stayed together anyway. Regardless, we did end up back together and now there would be three of us. The roller coaster ride had just began!
Life Lesson: No matter what parents or anyone else tries to help discourage teens from getting pregnant, a teen still has her own distorted, romantic view about it. Best advice: absolutely make your teen take the course with the lifelike baby for a few weeks. She needs to SEE how it actually is! Not so romantic then!
A whirlwind of emotions flood over me. Excitement. Fear. Love. Worry. Apprehension. What would Mike think or say? What would our parents think or do? Pregnant?! Yes, pregnant. Just to be 100% certain, I had an older friend take me to a local teen pregnancy center. Confirmed again. Pregnant. Next step.... Mike. He had a baseball game that day so I asked to see him after the game to talk. He knew. On our drive to his house I simply said, "I'm pregnant." "Wow, we (bleeped) up," he said, holding my hand. I had already had at least a little time for it to sink in but seeing his reaction brought those initial emotions back up. At least he was staying calm about it. "I knew when you said you wanted to talk that you were probably pregnant," he said. We arrived at his house and his next move sort of surprised me. I thought this would be a good time for us to spend a little while together and talk things through. Instead, he wanted to be alone. I was crushed. Again? Love is such a roller coaster ride. But I left as he wished. He told his friends and his parents and the next day he came to see me.
Mike talked about getting married whenever I returned from my London trip. Yes, I was still going. I thought it would give my parents time to let the news sink in. I was in a one-track state of mind though. I didn't care what anyone thought. I was having Mike's baby and I couldn't be happier. No matter what else happened, we would be together. Some of you are probably wondering- did I get pregnant on purpose? ABSOLUTELY NOT! As much as I loved Mike, I really was excited to be going off to college. And yes, he did ask THE question, "is it mine"? Yep, that hurt. Why would he ask that? Yes, we had been broken up for months, but didn't he realize how much I loved him by how hard I had chased him?
Looking back now, I do wonder what would have happened if I hadn't chased him. If I had not shown up at that party that night. Would we have ever gotten back together? He says yes. I sort of doubt it. I tend to think that if I had went away to college that he would have just moved on. BUT, true love does find a way, doesn't it? So maybe he's right. Maybe we would have stayed together anyway. Regardless, we did end up back together and now there would be three of us. The roller coaster ride had just began!
Life Lesson: No matter what parents or anyone else tries to help discourage teens from getting pregnant, a teen still has her own distorted, romantic view about it. Best advice: absolutely make your teen take the course with the lifelike baby for a few weeks. She needs to SEE how it actually is! Not so romantic then!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
The Party, the Bodybuilder and a Wish Come True
My high school graduation was fast approaching and I was planning a celebratory beach trip. I asked Mike if he would like to go with me. With college coming up in the fall, I guess this was one last effort to get him back. Total fail. He did go with me and we had our own room, separate from my friends who also went. But, a couple of his friends went too and he ended up spending more time with them than he did with me. Reality check. Time to move on. So I tried. On a side note here, I remember one particular moment from that beach trip and we even have a photo of it. Mike took the photo when I was standing out on the balcony looking at the ocean. I remember that moment being THE moment that I decided that I wanted to live at the beach someday. That desire has grown deeper with every year that passes.
About a week or so after the beach trip, Mike's mother called and invited me to an "end of school year" party that they were having that coming weekend. My friend Lori and I decided to go to the party. I loved Linda, Mike's mom, so since she personally invited me, I thought I should go. I think she may have had an ulterior motive in mind. I think she wanted Mike and I back together too.
Lori was spending the weekend with me while the rest of my family had gone on a short vacation. The night of the party arrived. Lori liked a guy that lived in a town on the way to the party so we stopped to pick him up. When we got there to pick up Lori's guy, he had a friend with him too. I guess this friend thought we'd make it a double date and proceeded to flirt with me on the drive to the party. Of course, flirting is flattering and I must admit that it felt pretty good since I was feeling so lonely. But I really wasn't interested. After all, I was on my way to Mike's house. The only thing on my mind that night was seeing Mike, the love of my life.
We drove up to the house and I was quite surprised. There were a lot of cars there. Lots of people. This was a pretty popular party apparently. We had to park at the road so when the four of us got out of the car and headed up the driveway, my "date" grabbed my hand, spun me around to him and kissed me! I was shocked! It was unexpected and unwanted. Thoughts flooded my mind. What if Mike saw? And if he did, was that good or bad? Would he be jealous? Would he be furious and start a fight?
I just left Lori and the two guys and walked on toward the house. I stopped and said hello to a few of Mike's friends and asked where he was. They told me that I had just missed him. He had just left with Tonya, the new, steady girl. Heart crushed again. You think I would've learned by now. A part of me wished I had gotten there a few minutes earlier to see her. To meet her. To see how he acted with her. The other part of me was glad I had missed them. I'm not sure how my heart would've handled seeing him with her.
I walked into the house to see Linda, Mike's mother. Lori and the guys went inside with me. They waited near the door while I went into the kitchen to chat with Linda. She asked me if I was with that "bodybuilder" and I said, "yeah, sort of". She giggled and gave me a thumbs up. Did I forget to mention that he was quite cute? Tall, cut and pretty handsome. And he was "claiming me as his date for the night" and I wasn't interested. Crazy, huh?
I guess during the time I was in the house, Mike had returned from taking Tonya home. His friends had informed him that I was there and that I was with a guy. He wasn't a happy camper. He started looking for me and spotted us through the glass door. He was told I was with a guy so he believed it to be true. He asked me to come outside to talk. Butterflies. Nervous! Am I about to be fussed & yelled at? Is he asking me to leave? Did he miss me? I was actually scared to hear what he had to say. Despite how hard I tried to get over him, I just wasn't ready to hear a final goodbye from him.
We sat in the swing and the drilling began. He asked why I was there. He asked why I had the nerve to show up at his house, his party, with another guy. What? Weren't you just with another girl less than 15 minutes ago? I explained that his mom had invited me and I explained the guy being with me situation. His tone changed. He told me that seeing me with another guy made him realize that he didn't want to be apart any longer. He said that was his wake-up call. He had been trying to fight off his feelings for me but seeing me with who he thought was my date, brought up the jealous feelings of him not wanting me to be with anyone else. He wanted to get back together and stay together.
Yay! Finally!!! I had him back!! Conveniently and quite quickly did I forget that he had just gotten back from taking his new "girlfriend" home. Love. Gets in the way of clear thinking. What makes me think this time will be any different? He'll probably just break up with me again in a couple of days. Those are a few of the thoughts I had on the drive home. Other thoughts? I was so happy. I felt like he sincerely meant what he'd said. Jealousy does have quite an effect doesn't it? Why hadn't I thought of this sooner?
Lori and I got back to my house and went to bed. About an hour or so later, around 3 a.m., I heard a knock at my door. It was Mike. He was upset. He wanted to be with me. The thought of me being with someone else had really shook him up. Well, that was another night that would alter the course of my life.
Life lesson: Jealousy. Sometimes it can work to your benefit. But be prepared because it can often backfire.
About a week or so after the beach trip, Mike's mother called and invited me to an "end of school year" party that they were having that coming weekend. My friend Lori and I decided to go to the party. I loved Linda, Mike's mom, so since she personally invited me, I thought I should go. I think she may have had an ulterior motive in mind. I think she wanted Mike and I back together too.
Lori was spending the weekend with me while the rest of my family had gone on a short vacation. The night of the party arrived. Lori liked a guy that lived in a town on the way to the party so we stopped to pick him up. When we got there to pick up Lori's guy, he had a friend with him too. I guess this friend thought we'd make it a double date and proceeded to flirt with me on the drive to the party. Of course, flirting is flattering and I must admit that it felt pretty good since I was feeling so lonely. But I really wasn't interested. After all, I was on my way to Mike's house. The only thing on my mind that night was seeing Mike, the love of my life.
We drove up to the house and I was quite surprised. There were a lot of cars there. Lots of people. This was a pretty popular party apparently. We had to park at the road so when the four of us got out of the car and headed up the driveway, my "date" grabbed my hand, spun me around to him and kissed me! I was shocked! It was unexpected and unwanted. Thoughts flooded my mind. What if Mike saw? And if he did, was that good or bad? Would he be jealous? Would he be furious and start a fight?
I just left Lori and the two guys and walked on toward the house. I stopped and said hello to a few of Mike's friends and asked where he was. They told me that I had just missed him. He had just left with Tonya, the new, steady girl. Heart crushed again. You think I would've learned by now. A part of me wished I had gotten there a few minutes earlier to see her. To meet her. To see how he acted with her. The other part of me was glad I had missed them. I'm not sure how my heart would've handled seeing him with her.
I walked into the house to see Linda, Mike's mother. Lori and the guys went inside with me. They waited near the door while I went into the kitchen to chat with Linda. She asked me if I was with that "bodybuilder" and I said, "yeah, sort of". She giggled and gave me a thumbs up. Did I forget to mention that he was quite cute? Tall, cut and pretty handsome. And he was "claiming me as his date for the night" and I wasn't interested. Crazy, huh?
I guess during the time I was in the house, Mike had returned from taking Tonya home. His friends had informed him that I was there and that I was with a guy. He wasn't a happy camper. He started looking for me and spotted us through the glass door. He was told I was with a guy so he believed it to be true. He asked me to come outside to talk. Butterflies. Nervous! Am I about to be fussed & yelled at? Is he asking me to leave? Did he miss me? I was actually scared to hear what he had to say. Despite how hard I tried to get over him, I just wasn't ready to hear a final goodbye from him.
We sat in the swing and the drilling began. He asked why I was there. He asked why I had the nerve to show up at his house, his party, with another guy. What? Weren't you just with another girl less than 15 minutes ago? I explained that his mom had invited me and I explained the guy being with me situation. His tone changed. He told me that seeing me with another guy made him realize that he didn't want to be apart any longer. He said that was his wake-up call. He had been trying to fight off his feelings for me but seeing me with who he thought was my date, brought up the jealous feelings of him not wanting me to be with anyone else. He wanted to get back together and stay together.
Yay! Finally!!! I had him back!! Conveniently and quite quickly did I forget that he had just gotten back from taking his new "girlfriend" home. Love. Gets in the way of clear thinking. What makes me think this time will be any different? He'll probably just break up with me again in a couple of days. Those are a few of the thoughts I had on the drive home. Other thoughts? I was so happy. I felt like he sincerely meant what he'd said. Jealousy does have quite an effect doesn't it? Why hadn't I thought of this sooner?
Lori and I got back to my house and went to bed. About an hour or so later, around 3 a.m., I heard a knock at my door. It was Mike. He was upset. He wanted to be with me. The thought of me being with someone else had really shook him up. Well, that was another night that would alter the course of my life.
Life lesson: Jealousy. Sometimes it can work to your benefit. But be prepared because it can often backfire.
Friday, March 2, 2012
The Break-Up, George Strait and a New Girl
So now that we've gone the distance, we are committed, right? At least that's what I thought. Over the next several months a different kind of roller coaster ride ensued. Being intimate brings on a flood of emotions. Some of them- wonderful, kind of "wow, this bond we share is amazing and no one knows but the two of us". Other times I found myself wondering, "is he with me just for the 's' word"? Sometimes I felt used instead of loved. Too much, too soon, too young.
By January of 1987, Mike was uncertain of his feelings for me. He felt a little "tied down" and wondered what he was missing as a single guy, so he broke up with me. I was heartbroken. Valentine's Day came and went- no Mike. Our school had lots of dances back in the day, as a way for different groups to raise money. So of course, there was a V-day dance and I went. I was miserable. I usually loved to dance, but no Mike on Valentine's Day? Just wasn't fun. I did dance with one of my guy friends (who I admit I had a bit of a crush on) but it absolutely wasn't the same. He wasn't Mike. And I wasn't ready to move on. I tried going on a few dates, but it just wasn't working. I missed Mike terribly.
After a year of dating Mike, my friends had also gotten boyfriends or new friends so I couldn't really hang out with them anymore. Mike's friends had become my friends, along with my cousin Tony. So on occasion I went to Geneva on the weekend to see if anyone was around to hang out with. And of course, I secretly hoped to see Mike, which I never did.
Soon it was Spring Break week. It was my Senior year of high school so my parents were actually letting me go to the beach for a few days. Mike was already down there. My very first night down there, Mike spotted me at a gas station and told Tony to turn in. This distracted Tony in the bumper to bumper traffic of "the strip" and caused them to rear end the car ahead of them! How dumb! But funny!
Needless to say, Mike and I hung out together the rest of the night. Seems he must have had a plan because he took me back to where he was staying. Uh-oh. Yep, you know what's about to happen, don't you? I should've known better. Of course, the make-out session and beyond happened. But then, he did the sweetest thing. I'll never forget it. He played a song for me (on cassette tape, remember those?). The song was "Nobody in his right mind" by George Strait. If you're not familiar with the song, it basically says, 'nobody in his right mind would've left her. Even my heart was smart enough to stay behind". I know, I know, sappy right? But it was beautiful to me. He had my heart and here he was telling me, in a way, that I was still in his heart too. He said he missed me and wanted to get back together. Keep in mind, this was two months after our break up. A very long two months for me so you bet I said yes. I was thrilled.
We had a great time together the rest of that weekend. But reality would set in that following week when we were back home. My world was about to come crashing down again. I got a letter in the mail from Mike just a few days after we got back. He didn't waste any time did he? It said that he had changed his mind. He wanted to stay broken up. He had seen me at the beach and old feelings had stirred, but he really wanted more time to be single and think things through. I was crushed - again.
I again went through the motions of going out on some dates and again went to Geneva to see who I may could hang around with. It was on one of those Geneva trips that I found out that Mike was on a date with another girl. As a matter of fact, this particular girl would be the one that Mike started seeing regularly over the next several weeks. Me? Crushed completely. I was going on dates with different guys and never felt comfortable with any of them and here was Mike, seeing the same girl. Apparently, he was moving on. My heart was ripping into a thousand pieces. His friends all said that she looked like me. So if she looked like me, then why didn't he just want me?
My high school graduation was nearing. So many plans and changes were about to happen in my life. I was going on a Senior trip with a close friend and her Slocomb High school classmates, on a week long tour of London and Scotland. Then, in the Fall of 1987, I was headed to college at Montevallo. All of this without the love of my life. Why was it so hard to get over him? I had no trouble getting guys. Why couldn't I just let go of him?
-to be continued....
Lesson #4- Guard your heart. Until he's sure.
By January of 1987, Mike was uncertain of his feelings for me. He felt a little "tied down" and wondered what he was missing as a single guy, so he broke up with me. I was heartbroken. Valentine's Day came and went- no Mike. Our school had lots of dances back in the day, as a way for different groups to raise money. So of course, there was a V-day dance and I went. I was miserable. I usually loved to dance, but no Mike on Valentine's Day? Just wasn't fun. I did dance with one of my guy friends (who I admit I had a bit of a crush on) but it absolutely wasn't the same. He wasn't Mike. And I wasn't ready to move on. I tried going on a few dates, but it just wasn't working. I missed Mike terribly.
After a year of dating Mike, my friends had also gotten boyfriends or new friends so I couldn't really hang out with them anymore. Mike's friends had become my friends, along with my cousin Tony. So on occasion I went to Geneva on the weekend to see if anyone was around to hang out with. And of course, I secretly hoped to see Mike, which I never did.
Soon it was Spring Break week. It was my Senior year of high school so my parents were actually letting me go to the beach for a few days. Mike was already down there. My very first night down there, Mike spotted me at a gas station and told Tony to turn in. This distracted Tony in the bumper to bumper traffic of "the strip" and caused them to rear end the car ahead of them! How dumb! But funny!
Needless to say, Mike and I hung out together the rest of the night. Seems he must have had a plan because he took me back to where he was staying. Uh-oh. Yep, you know what's about to happen, don't you? I should've known better. Of course, the make-out session and beyond happened. But then, he did the sweetest thing. I'll never forget it. He played a song for me (on cassette tape, remember those?). The song was "Nobody in his right mind" by George Strait. If you're not familiar with the song, it basically says, 'nobody in his right mind would've left her. Even my heart was smart enough to stay behind". I know, I know, sappy right? But it was beautiful to me. He had my heart and here he was telling me, in a way, that I was still in his heart too. He said he missed me and wanted to get back together. Keep in mind, this was two months after our break up. A very long two months for me so you bet I said yes. I was thrilled.
We had a great time together the rest of that weekend. But reality would set in that following week when we were back home. My world was about to come crashing down again. I got a letter in the mail from Mike just a few days after we got back. He didn't waste any time did he? It said that he had changed his mind. He wanted to stay broken up. He had seen me at the beach and old feelings had stirred, but he really wanted more time to be single and think things through. I was crushed - again.
I again went through the motions of going out on some dates and again went to Geneva to see who I may could hang around with. It was on one of those Geneva trips that I found out that Mike was on a date with another girl. As a matter of fact, this particular girl would be the one that Mike started seeing regularly over the next several weeks. Me? Crushed completely. I was going on dates with different guys and never felt comfortable with any of them and here was Mike, seeing the same girl. Apparently, he was moving on. My heart was ripping into a thousand pieces. His friends all said that she looked like me. So if she looked like me, then why didn't he just want me?
My high school graduation was nearing. So many plans and changes were about to happen in my life. I was going on a Senior trip with a close friend and her Slocomb High school classmates, on a week long tour of London and Scotland. Then, in the Fall of 1987, I was headed to college at Montevallo. All of this without the love of my life. Why was it so hard to get over him? I had no trouble getting guys. Why couldn't I just let go of him?
-to be continued....
Lesson #4- Guard your heart. Until he's sure.
Friday, February 17, 2012
The "IT" Moment
The "IT" Moment
So here we were, a year later and still together. Now remember, I wasn't quite the party girl but I also wasn't naive to peer pressure, the what ifs or just plain ol' curiosity. Teens talk. Rumors? Sometimes. Truth disguised as jokes- a lot. Of course there were girls and guys in my circle of friends who talked about their sexual encounters. They just weren't shown on an MTV reality show. I mean, wow, that's all those people do! "G"-go out to clubs, "T"- talk to strangers and "L"- love 'em & leave 'em (one night stand style).
At the very least, in our neck of the woods, sex was usually encompassed in a relationship, well, at least back in the day. Not that it makes it any more "right" or more moral than one night stands because it doesn't. But at least sex seemed to be viewed as the next step in a couple's relationship rather than just a hook-up. Teen love, first love, puppy love or whatever you choose to call it is a very powerful feeling, especially for a girl. This is her prince. This may actually be the guy she will marry. There is simply no way this relationship will ever end. Sound familiar?
And I was no different. Mike wasn't my first boyfriend, nor was he my first crush or puppy love. So, when I say I was in love with him, I just knew it was different than anything I had ever felt. He would be my forever love. Mike was pretty darn good at being a gentleman and sex wasn't really discussed. Us southern girls just don't talk about that stuff, do we? But sometimes, things do get a little heated and you wonder.... is this the right moment?
I loved him. He loved me. We were in this for the long haul weren't we? So why wouldn't we? Now let me just stop for a minute and throw a few things out there. For the guys, sex is a pretty easy decision. They do not have the same emotional make up that girls have. It's a no brainer to the guys. For a young girl who thinks she's in love, it becomes much more. She may feel like if she goes all the way with him that a strong bond will be formed that he would never want to break. She may feel like if she doesn't, he'll leave her. Sure he may love her but there are a lot of other girls out there right? She may just feel that sharing such intimacy will prove to him how much she really loves him.
So which one of those did I feel? A little of all them. There was one night that a bunch of us went camping out in the middle of a field. Tents, campfire and a never ending supply of beer for the guys. NOOOO, none for me remember? I'd just cry the whole night. Well, camping the entire night with no curfew (no, my parents didn't know quite where I was) was pretty romantic and exciting. Inside our tent, Mike & I got a bit cozy. Gotcha! Nope, didn't happen that night. Close though! A few dates later, it DID happen. No turning back now. This was it. We would be together forever. After all, that's what doing that means right? That was the summer of 1986. (insert a little 80's love song here please)
...... to be continued....
Life Lesson #3: Love may- with a big emphasis on may- conquer all, but sex just usually complicates it.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
So we started dating.....
So we started dating.....
Within a few weeks of that overnight at Wanda's, Mike and I started dating and we finally had that first kiss. It was a moment I will never forget. You know the feelings; awkward yet giddy, sweet but unsure. To this day, he still says he loves my lips. Too cute. We had the normal teen relationship with all of its ups and downs. I was raised in a freewill baptist church so I was overall a pretty good girl. I did have the occasional wild streak (which my parents will probably not like hearing stories about) but I definitely was not considered a "party girl". Drinking alcohol made me cry. Yes, I tried it. Sorry mom & dad! Crying wasn't very fun for me so I just didn't drink.... usually. I didn't smoke and I've never tried any drugs or "mary jane". I was in the car once while some friends smoked a joint- I thought it was gross.
Mike, although not raised in church, was a good guy too. He didn't drink too often, didn't do drugs, didn't smoke and was a perfect gentleman in the way he treated me. Ah, young, new love. Funny how things change thru the years isn't it? Those feelings of "he can do no wrong" fade away. And we women really do turn into nags don't we? We'll get to all of that a bit later. Mike did fight a lot. I mean physical, punches thrown fighting, which thankfully, I never witnessed in person while we were dating. I did witness it a few years back. We'll get to that later too. As his teen girlfriend however, I secretly thought it was kind of cool. He was my protector. He would take care of me.
We didn't get to see each other often, only on weekends. We lived about 25 minutes away from each other, I in Wicksburg, AL and he in Geneva, AL. School and our other individual activities kept us busy during the week. I was in my high school's marching band and Mike played baseball for his high school. I remember how proud I felt to be his girlfriend when I was walking into the ball park to watch him play. And of course, he always had to show out and hit a couple of home runs when I was there. Well, maybe they weren't really for me. He was always an all or nothing kind of player. Home run or strike out usually. He loved baseball, as much as he loved me. Probably more. He had a "gun" for an arm and everyone bragged on his throwing ability. Yep, I was impressed too. And yes, I loved those "guns". I still like to squeeze his biceps, even though these days they are a bit less defined.
Mike was the first "cowboy"/good ole' country boy type I had dated. He and his friends quite often wore the cowboy boots, always listened to music like Hank Jr. and yes, unfortunately, used tobacco or snuff. I must admit it was kind of gross but he always made sure to be a gentleman about it around me. A kiss after he's drank a swig of beer- yummy. A kiss after a "dip" was freshly discarded- yucky! When I knew I was about to see him my tummy filled with butterflies. Yep, I was in love. I loved hearing his voice on the phone. So much so that we would spend hours on the phone at night. Too much sometimes. One month we ran up his parent's phone bill to over $700! Yep, he was grounded for a while. Sorry pa-in-law!
I loved that he was taller than me and that I seemed to fit perfectly in his arms. I loved how he could make me laugh. I loved that he called me "baby". I loved how he thought I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. I loved that after being together for over a year that he gave me a "promise" ring because he planned for us to be together forever.
..... to be continued.....
Life lesson #2: Cherish your memories of young love. It's the best feeling ever!
Within a few weeks of that overnight at Wanda's, Mike and I started dating and we finally had that first kiss. It was a moment I will never forget. You know the feelings; awkward yet giddy, sweet but unsure. To this day, he still says he loves my lips. Too cute. We had the normal teen relationship with all of its ups and downs. I was raised in a freewill baptist church so I was overall a pretty good girl. I did have the occasional wild streak (which my parents will probably not like hearing stories about) but I definitely was not considered a "party girl". Drinking alcohol made me cry. Yes, I tried it. Sorry mom & dad! Crying wasn't very fun for me so I just didn't drink.... usually. I didn't smoke and I've never tried any drugs or "mary jane". I was in the car once while some friends smoked a joint- I thought it was gross.
Mike, although not raised in church, was a good guy too. He didn't drink too often, didn't do drugs, didn't smoke and was a perfect gentleman in the way he treated me. Ah, young, new love. Funny how things change thru the years isn't it? Those feelings of "he can do no wrong" fade away. And we women really do turn into nags don't we? We'll get to all of that a bit later. Mike did fight a lot. I mean physical, punches thrown fighting, which thankfully, I never witnessed in person while we were dating. I did witness it a few years back. We'll get to that later too. As his teen girlfriend however, I secretly thought it was kind of cool. He was my protector. He would take care of me.
We didn't get to see each other often, only on weekends. We lived about 25 minutes away from each other, I in Wicksburg, AL and he in Geneva, AL. School and our other individual activities kept us busy during the week. I was in my high school's marching band and Mike played baseball for his high school. I remember how proud I felt to be his girlfriend when I was walking into the ball park to watch him play. And of course, he always had to show out and hit a couple of home runs when I was there. Well, maybe they weren't really for me. He was always an all or nothing kind of player. Home run or strike out usually. He loved baseball, as much as he loved me. Probably more. He had a "gun" for an arm and everyone bragged on his throwing ability. Yep, I was impressed too. And yes, I loved those "guns". I still like to squeeze his biceps, even though these days they are a bit less defined.
Mike was the first "cowboy"/good ole' country boy type I had dated. He and his friends quite often wore the cowboy boots, always listened to music like Hank Jr. and yes, unfortunately, used tobacco or snuff. I must admit it was kind of gross but he always made sure to be a gentleman about it around me. A kiss after he's drank a swig of beer- yummy. A kiss after a "dip" was freshly discarded- yucky! When I knew I was about to see him my tummy filled with butterflies. Yep, I was in love. I loved hearing his voice on the phone. So much so that we would spend hours on the phone at night. Too much sometimes. One month we ran up his parent's phone bill to over $700! Yep, he was grounded for a while. Sorry pa-in-law!
I loved that he was taller than me and that I seemed to fit perfectly in his arms. I loved how he could make me laugh. I loved that he called me "baby". I loved how he thought I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. I loved that after being together for over a year that he gave me a "promise" ring because he planned for us to be together forever.
..... to be continued.....
Life lesson #2: Cherish your memories of young love. It's the best feeling ever!
The Beginning (well, from high school actually)
The Beginning (well, from high school actually)
"Wow, we have screwed up" were the words out of my boyfriend's mouth when I told him I was pregnant. Not exactly what I would have preferred to hear but definitely understandable. Not much more was said on our drive back to his house. It was a lot to process for two 17 year olds.
"Wow, we have screwed up" were the words out of my boyfriend's mouth when I told him I was pregnant. Not exactly what I would have preferred to hear but definitely understandable. Not much more was said on our drive back to his house. It was a lot to process for two 17 year olds.
Mike and I had been dating off & on for about two years. My cousin, Tony, had introduced us at my 15th birthday party. My first impression of Mike was that I thought he looked a little "too country" for me. Button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow, jeans and cowboy boots. Not many guys in my school dressed like that. He told me later about his first impression of me. He said it was 'love at first sight'. Awww, so sweet.
Several months went by before we would meet again. It was one night in June, 1985, early summer, but already extremely hot outside. Little did I know that it would be the night that my life would take its turn onto the path that would impact me, us, forever- til death do us part.
I was spending the night with my very best friend Wanda while her mother and father worked the night shift. Wanda's cousin Missy was also spending the night. Missy thought it might be fun to invite a couple of guys over. I personally, was dating someone at the time so I wasn't particularly interested, but I did give cousin Tony a call to see if he would like to come over for a while.
I asked that he bring a friend so that there may possibly be a love connection for any of the four of them. Do you remember that show? The Love Connection? I loved that show! Anyway, Tony did bring Mike along with him. The beginning of the night was just the normal hanging out. Well, at least I think it was. I don't really remember much about the early part of the evening. I do remember that we all had to get up early the next morning for various activities we had to do. Wanda and I had band camp and Tony and Mike had to go load trucks with watermelons, or as we call it here in the south- chunkin melons. Tony actually fell asleep first, unfortunately, because Wanda seemed to like him a bit. Mike stayed awake to keep us ladies entertained.
Now remember, Mike had somewhat of a crush on me, which I STILL didn't know at that time. As a matter of fact, Missy really liked him herself. Mike's personality brightly shined throughout the entire night. Yep, we stayed up the whole night! He was so funny and we laughed til our sides hurt. He even offered to cook us a 3 a.m. breakfast of fried eggs. I decided midway through his cooking that I wanted them scrambled instead, which he graciously gave in to my wish, but it didn't work out too well. Scrambling eggs in enough oil that was intended for frying didn't make for very fluffy or tasty eggs. Yuck! We thought it was very funny and blamed it on his bad cooking.
I have a bit of tunnel vision memory after that. After the cooking fiasco, I can only remember Mike and I being in the room. I don't remember if Missy and Wanda were still with us or if they too had fallen asleep. I remember something, silly I'm sure, that caused me to start chasing Mike through the house, slapping at him- all in fun of course. He tripped and fell onto a bed and I jumped onto the bed too and kept throwing my girly punches at him. I was never the athlete, so girly punches they were! We were both laughing hysterically, but as laughter does, it died down and left us face to face. Very close face to face. In that moment, I wanted him to kiss me..... but he didn't. (sigh) To this day I'm still not quite sure why he didn't. He supposedly was crazy about me. And after that night, I was crazy about him too.
.... to be continued....
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