The Break-Up, George Strait and a New Girl

    So now that we've gone the distance, we are committed, right? At least that's what I thought. Over the next several months a different kind of roller coaster ride ensued. Being intimate brings on a flood of emotions. Some of them- wonderful, kind of "wow, this bond we share is amazing and no one knows but the two of us". Other times I found myself wondering, "is he with me just for the 's' word"? Sometimes I felt used instead of loved. Too much, too soon, too young.
    By January of 1987, Mike was uncertain of his feelings for me. He felt a little "tied down" and wondered what he was missing as a single guy, so he broke up with me. I was heartbroken. Valentine's Day came and went- no Mike. Our school had lots of dances back in the day, as a way for different groups to raise money. So of course, there was a V-day dance and I went. I was miserable. I usually loved to dance, but no Mike on Valentine's Day? Just wasn't fun. I did dance with one of my guy friends (who I admit I had a bit of a crush on) but it absolutely wasn't the same. He wasn't Mike. And I wasn't ready to move on. I tried going on a few dates, but it just wasn't working. I missed Mike terribly.
    After a year of dating Mike, my friends had also gotten boyfriends or new friends so I couldn't really hang out with them anymore. Mike's friends had become my friends, along with my cousin Tony. So on occasion I went to Geneva on the weekend to see if anyone was around to hang out with. And of course, I secretly hoped to see Mike, which I never did.
    Soon it was Spring Break week. It was my Senior year of high school so my parents were actually letting me go to the beach for a few days. Mike was already down there. My very first night down there, Mike spotted me at a gas station and told Tony to turn in. This distracted Tony in the bumper to bumper traffic of "the strip" and caused them to rear end the car ahead of them! How dumb! But funny!
    Needless to say, Mike and I hung out together the rest of the night. Seems he must have had a plan because he took me back to where he was staying. Uh-oh. Yep, you know what's about to happen, don't you? I should've known better. Of course, the make-out session and beyond happened. But then, he did the sweetest thing. I'll never forget it. He played a song for me (on cassette tape, remember those?). The song was "Nobody in his right mind" by George Strait. If you're not familiar with the song, it basically says, 'nobody in his right mind would've left her. Even my heart was smart enough to stay behind". I know, I know, sappy right? But it was beautiful to me. He had my heart and here he was telling me, in a way, that I was still in his heart too. He said he missed me and wanted to get back together. Keep in mind, this was two months after our break up. A very long two months for me so you bet I said yes. I was thrilled.
    We had a great time together the rest of that weekend. But reality would set in that following week when we were back home. My world was about to come crashing down again. I got a letter in the mail from Mike just a few days after we got back. He didn't waste any time did he? It said that he had changed his mind. He wanted to stay broken up. He had seen me at the beach and old feelings had stirred, but he really wanted more time to be single and think things through. I was crushed - again.
    I again went through the motions of going out on some dates and again went to Geneva to see who I may could hang around with. It was on one of those Geneva trips that I found out that Mike was on a date with another girl.  As a matter of fact, this particular girl would be the one that Mike started seeing regularly over the next several weeks. Me? Crushed completely. I was going on dates with different guys and never felt comfortable with any of them and here was Mike, seeing the same girl. Apparently, he was moving on. My heart was ripping into a thousand pieces. His friends all said that she looked like me. So if she looked like me, then why didn't he just want me?
    My high school graduation was nearing. So many plans and changes were about to happen in my life. I was going on a Senior trip with a close friend and her Slocomb High school classmates, on a week long tour of London and Scotland. Then, in the Fall of 1987, I was headed to college at Montevallo. All of this without the love of my life. Why was it so hard to get over him? I had no trouble getting guys. Why couldn't I just let go of him?

-to be continued....

Lesson #4- Guard your heart. Until he's sure.

The "IT" Moment

 
 The "IT" Moment
So here we were, a year later and still together. Now remember, I wasn't quite the party girl but I also wasn't naive to peer pressure, the what ifs or just plain ol' curiosity. Teens talk. Rumors? Sometimes. Truth disguised as jokes- a lot. Of course there were girls and guys in my circle of friends who talked about their sexual encounters. They just weren't shown on an MTV reality show. I mean, wow, that's all those people do! "G"-go out to clubs, "T"- talk to strangers and "L"- love 'em & leave 'em (one night stand style).

    At the very least, in our neck of the woods, sex was usually encompassed in a relationship, well, at least back in the day. Not that it makes it any more "right" or more moral than one night stands because it doesn't. But at least sex seemed to be viewed as the next step in a couple's relationship rather than just a hook-up. Teen love, first love, puppy love or whatever you choose to call it is a very powerful feeling, especially for a girl. This is her prince. This may actually be the guy she will marry. There is simply no way this relationship will ever end. Sound familiar?

    And I was no different. Mike wasn't my first boyfriend, nor was he my first crush or puppy love. So, when I say I was in love with him, I just knew it was different than anything I had ever felt. He would be my forever love. Mike was pretty darn good at being a gentleman and sex wasn't really discussed. Us southern girls just don't talk about that stuff, do we? But sometimes, things do get a little heated and you wonder.... is this the right moment?

    I loved him. He loved me. We were in this for the long haul weren't we? So why wouldn't we? Now let me just stop for a minute and throw a few things out there. For the guys, sex is a pretty easy decision. They do not have the same emotional make up that girls have. It's a no brainer to the guys. For a young girl who thinks she's in love, it becomes much more. She may feel like if she goes all the way with him that a strong bond will be formed that he would never want to break. She may feel like if she doesn't, he'll leave her. Sure he may love her but there are a lot of other girls out there right? She may just feel that sharing such intimacy will prove to him how much she really loves him.

    So which one of those did I feel? A little of all them. There was one night that a bunch of us went camping out in the middle of a field. Tents, campfire and a never ending supply of beer for the guys. NOOOO, none for me remember? I'd just cry the whole night. Well, camping the entire night with no curfew (no, my parents didn't know quite where I was) was pretty romantic and exciting. Inside our tent, Mike & I got a bit cozy. Gotcha! Nope, didn't happen that night. Close though! A few dates later, it DID happen. No turning back now. This was it. We would be together forever. After all, that's what doing that means right?  That was the summer of 1986. (insert a little 80's love song here please)
...... to be continued....

Life Lesson #3: Love may- with a big emphasis on may- conquer all, but sex just usually complicates it.

So we started dating.....

So we started dating.....

    Within a few weeks of that overnight at Wanda's, Mike and I started dating and we finally had that first kiss. It was a moment I will never forget. You know the feelings; awkward yet giddy, sweet but unsure. To this day, he still says he loves my lips. Too cute. We had the normal teen relationship with all of its ups and downs. I was raised in a freewill baptist church so I was overall a pretty good girl. I did have the occasional wild streak (which my parents will probably not like hearing stories about) but I definitely was not considered a "party girl". Drinking alcohol made me cry. Yes, I tried it. Sorry mom & dad! Crying wasn't very fun for me so I just didn't drink.... usually. I didn't smoke and I've never tried any drugs or "mary jane". I was in the car once while some friends smoked a joint-  I thought it was gross.
    Mike, although not raised in church, was a good guy too. He didn't drink too often, didn't do drugs, didn't smoke and was a perfect gentleman in the way he treated me. Ah, young, new love. Funny how things change thru the years isn't it? Those feelings of  "he can do no wrong" fade away. And we women really do turn into nags don't we? We'll get to all of that a bit later. Mike did fight a lot. I mean physical, punches thrown fighting, which thankfully, I never witnessed in person while we were dating. I did witness it a few years back. We'll get to that later too. As his teen girlfriend however, I secretly thought it was kind of cool. He was my protector. He would take care of me.
    We didn't get to see each other often, only on weekends. We lived about 25 minutes away from each other, I in Wicksburg, AL and he in Geneva, AL. School and our other individual activities kept us busy during the week. I was in my high school's marching band and Mike played baseball for his high school. I remember how proud I felt to be his girlfriend when I was walking into the ball park to watch him play. And of course, he always had to show out and hit a couple of home runs when I was there. Well, maybe they weren't really for me. He was always an all or nothing kind of player. Home run or strike out usually.  He loved baseball, as much as he loved me. Probably more. He had a "gun" for an arm and everyone bragged on his throwing ability. Yep, I was impressed too. And yes, I loved those "guns". I still like to squeeze his biceps, even though these days they are a bit less defined.
    Mike was the first "cowboy"/good ole' country boy type I had dated. He and his friends quite often wore the cowboy boots, always listened to music like Hank Jr. and yes, unfortunately, used tobacco or snuff. I must admit it was kind of gross but he always made sure to be a gentleman about it around me. A kiss after he's drank a swig of beer- yummy. A kiss after a "dip" was freshly discarded- yucky!  When I knew I was about to see him my tummy filled with butterflies. Yep, I was in love. I loved hearing his voice on the phone. So much so that we would spend hours on the phone at night. Too much sometimes. One month we ran up his parent's phone bill to over $700! Yep, he was grounded for a while. Sorry pa-in-law!
    I loved that he was taller than me and that I seemed to fit perfectly in his arms. I loved how he could make me laugh. I loved that he called me "baby". I loved how he thought I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. I loved that after being together for over a year that he gave me a "promise" ring because he planned for us to be together forever.
..... to be continued.....

Life lesson #2:  Cherish your memories of young love. It's the best feeling ever!

The Beginning (well, from high school actually)

The Beginning (well, from high school actually)

  "Wow, we have screwed up" were the words out of my boyfriend's mouth when I told him I was pregnant. Not exactly what I would have preferred to hear but definitely understandable. Not much more was said on our drive back to his house. It was a lot to process for two 17 year olds.

   Mike and I had been dating off & on for about two years. My cousin, Tony, had introduced us at my 15th birthday party. My first impression of Mike was that I thought he looked a little "too country" for me. Button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow, jeans and cowboy boots. Not many guys in my school dressed like that. He told me later about his first impression of me. He said it was 'love at first sight'. Awww, so sweet.

   Several months went by before we would meet again. It was one night in June, 1985, early summer, but already extremely hot outside. Little did I know that it would be the night that my life would take its turn onto the path that would impact me, us, forever- til death do us part.

   I was spending the night with my very best friend Wanda while her mother and father worked the night shift. Wanda's cousin Missy was also spending the night. Missy thought it might be fun to invite a couple of guys over. I personally, was dating someone at the time so I wasn't particularly interested, but I did give cousin Tony a call to see if he would like to come over for a while.

   I asked that he bring a friend so that there may possibly be a love connection for any of the four of them. Do you remember that show? The Love Connection? I loved that show! Anyway, Tony did bring Mike along with him. The beginning of the night was just the normal hanging out. Well, at least I think it was. I don't really remember much about the early part of the evening. I do remember that we all had to get up early the next morning for various activities we had to do. Wanda and I had band camp and Tony and Mike had to go load trucks with watermelons, or as we call it here in the south- chunkin melons. Tony actually fell asleep first, unfortunately, because Wanda seemed to like him a bit. Mike stayed awake to keep us ladies entertained.

   Now remember, Mike had somewhat of a crush on me, which I STILL didn't know at that time. As a matter of fact, Missy really liked him herself. Mike's personality brightly shined throughout the entire night. Yep, we stayed up the whole night! He was so funny and we laughed til our sides hurt. He even offered to cook us a 3 a.m. breakfast of fried eggs. I decided midway through his cooking that I wanted them scrambled instead, which he graciously gave in to my wish, but it didn't work out too well. Scrambling eggs in enough oil that was intended for frying didn't make for very fluffy or tasty eggs. Yuck! We thought it was very funny and blamed it on his bad cooking.

   I have a bit of tunnel vision memory after that. After the cooking fiasco, I can only remember Mike and I being in the room. I don't remember if Missy and Wanda were still with us or if they too had fallen asleep. I remember something, silly I'm sure, that caused me to start chasing Mike through the house, slapping at him- all in fun of course. He tripped and fell onto a bed and I jumped onto the bed too and kept throwing my girly punches at him. I was never the athlete, so girly punches they were!  We were both laughing hysterically, but as laughter does, it died down and left us face to face. Very close face to face. In that moment, I wanted him to kiss me..... but he didn't. (sigh) To this day I'm still not quite sure why he didn't. He supposedly was crazy about me. And after that night, I was crazy about him too.

.... to be continued....

Why this blog?

I have been told on several occasions that I should write a book. And I must admit, I've sort of always wanted to write a book. I LOVED to write short stories in English class in high school and I wrote plays for children's and youth church programs. I actually started writing "my book" a few months back, but as life does, things happen and it got put on the back burner. Since I kind of figure that not many people would want to actually buy my book, I might as well just put it in blog form so at least I'll be more likely to keep writing it until it's finished. So, here we go! Hope you enjoy, or can relate, or that it brings back memories for you. Maybe it will even inspire you to write your own story! I would love your comments and feedback any time you'd like to say something!
amy